


Those Little Moments

by tearsandschmaltz



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: (i.e. zeke's home life), @ loren bouchard just let them DATE please!!, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Sweet Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22097647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsandschmaltz/pseuds/tearsandschmaltz
Summary: Jimmy Jr. keeps having these Moments with Zeke, moments where they let slip—just a little—that they like each other as more than just friends. As Jimmy tries to make sense of his feelings, he and Zeke seem to get closer and closer. And the closer Zeke gets, the more Jimmy falls for him.
Relationships: Jimmy Pesto Jr./Zeke (Bob's Burgers)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 71





	Those Little Moments

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back, shortly after "Yes Without My Zeke" aired, because I was tired of feeling queerbaited and that episode really was the last straw. Just let these boys date and be happy! They deserve it!!

The first time it happened, all Jimmy Jr. had wanted to do was get some air. It was after his dramatic dance battle with Josh, and he was sticky with sweat. There was something intimidating about dancing with a bunch of people who were _training_ to be dancers, not just teaching themselves by watching Flashdance over and over again. Besides, he didn’t even know what the school was called, and he’d never felt more like a little fish in a huge pond.

It definitely had nothing to do with the fact that he realized pretty early into the dance battle he wasn’t even thinking of Tina; he wanted to dance well for Josh.

He reasoned it was because Josh was so much better at dancing than he could ever be, and he wanted to impress him. He could dance for Tina whenever he wanted to, but he didn’t think he’d see Josh ever again.

He felt a rush of stale air behind his back as the gym door opened and shut. Zeke stepped forward, pulling his shirt away from his chest and fanning his face.

“Got a little hot in there for you too, huh Jay-Ju?” he grinned and elbowed Jimmy a little.

“Yeah, plus…a lot of those guys were way better at dancing than me.” If Zeke could figure out his actual reasoning behind going outside, it would all be over. He would wrestle the truth—literally—out of Jimmy.

“Don’t feel bad,” Zeke drawled, “I don’t think Tina is good enough for ya. Hell, if she saw what I saw when you were dancin’, you’d be out here kissin’ her instead of me.”

Jimmy whirled around to face Zeke. Surely he hadn’t said Jimmy would be kissing Tina instead of him—but the space between them was closing quickly and his arms flew out in front of him. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to push Zeke away or to pull him closer.

“I meant talkin’ to me,” Zeke chuckled, but the color had faded from his sweaty face. “Think I’m startin’ to crash from the sugar.”

Jimmy felt his heart racing, and suddenly his palms were slick with sweat at his side. There was no reason to be this nervous around Zeke. And there was no reason for them to be out here during a dance, except if they were going to have a big fight or…oh.

“D’you think Tina would’ve made me and Josh make out?” he blurted out, his glance darting away from Zeke’s face to hide his blush.

“Hunh?”

Zeke was zoning out again. Probably for the better, because Jimmy couldn’t bear to repeat the question again.

“Why would she want that?” Zeke replied. His eyes grew wide. “D’you think she’s one of those weirdos who likes to watch guys…you know?”

Before he could figure out if there was any subtext to what Zeke said, he blurted out more stupid thoughts. “I mean, do you think it was mainly her wanting to make out with me _and_ Josh, or both at the same time, or having us all feel the same about each other, or—”

“Whoa, Jay-Ju!” Zeke laughed, but it sounded nervous. “I think Tina was just being greedy. A…greedy Teeny.”

Jimmy couldn’t help but laugh, and some of the stress in his shoulders dissipated. A quiet fell between him and Zeke, and Jimmy turned to his best friend.

His curly brown hair was plastered to his forehead, and his eyes were sparkling the same way they did when he was about to do get Jimmy to do something stupid, or wrestle him, or both. Somehow dirt had managed to find its way to his face, but that wasn’t surprising considering how often Zeke pinned people to the ground.

Without thinking, his hands reached out and pushed the curls off Zeke’s face, trying to force them back into his messy coif. He brushed the dirt off Zeke’s chin, his fingers lingering near Zeke’s mouth.

He couldn’t pull away, and to his surprise, Zeke wasn’t moving. Their eyes were locked on each other’s faces, and Jimmy couldn’t figure out why he was leaning in closer to his best friend, why he couldn’t stop himself from wondering what it would be like if their lips touched—would it be the same as kissing Tina? If he did this, he knew it was the point of no return because if he…you know, liked it, it would be all he could think about, and what if Zeke hated him for it, or what if he wanted to do it again? What would that mean?

The anxiety was getting to him, and it pulled him a step back from Zeke. He awkwardly patted his cheek like nothing had happened.

“There are a bunch of hot girls in there,” he said, and even he wasn’t convinced he meant it. “One of us should get kissed tonight, and since I already lost my chance with Tina, I guess…that’s you.”

“There were girls in there,” Zeke said, but Jimmy could hear the hesitation in his voice. “But they seemed a little…hoity-toity, right?”

“Uh, I guess…” Jimmy awkwardly shifted his weight back and forth between his feet.

“I dunno if I want a girl like that.”

Maybe he was hearing things, but he could’ve sworn Zeke paused—just barely—before he said “like that.”

“’Sides, who cares about girls when you’ve got a best bud?” Zeke reached out and put Jimmy into another hold to ruffle his hair. It lasted too long, and he could tell both of them knew it.

“Yeah, who needs them?” Jimmy shrugged Zeke’s arms off his shoulders. “I came here to _dance_.”

“Hell yeah, ya did!” Zeke grinned goofily. Jimmy felt relieved that whatever moment they’d had before hadn’t changed anything.

Zeke opened the door and held it open. “You goin’ in?”

Jimmy smiled back. “You know it, Zeke.”

* * *

The second time it happened, it was more expected. Ever since that night at the dance, Jimmy sensed that the almost-kiss would haunt his time with Zeke. Neither of them brought it up, but every time Zeke wrestled him, he could feel the half-seconds of hesitation whenever he moved his hands to pin Jimmy down in a different way. Thankfully, no one else seemed to notice that something had changed between them. Not even Tammy, who, in her many stupid observations to Jocelyn, had come very close to making sense of Jimmy’s weird feelings for Zeke. Maybe closer than he had ever gotten to figuring them out.

It didn’t occur to him that Zeke sleeping over could cause a problem, especially because Zeke slept over a lot. He’d usually text Jimmy, “need 2 get out of house, where r u,” which Jimmy knew meant Zeke needed to stay the night with him. At first, Zeke’s constant presence in his life bothered both of his parents. They didn’t understand why he was always sleeping over or why Jimmy even bothered to be his friend. But Jimmy usually got around it by pulling the “I have no twin and I’m so lonely” card, and he knew his parents would rather deal with Zeke than even begin to ask him about his emotions.

It wasn’t any different that night. He’d gotten the text from Zeke, and he knew better than to ask him about what happened when Zeke came in with nothing but his cell phone. Jimmy was at his mom’s, which felt sort of the same as staying in a bed and breakfast, because he knew it was _supposed_ to feel familiar, but he always felt like a stranger. Their equilibrium was already thrown off, especially because Jimmy didn’t keep any of his clothes at his mom’s, especially not the spare clothes and pajamas Zeke had left behind after countless sleepovers. So Zeke was sleeping in his undershirt and boxers in a sleeping bag on the floor. When they got into their pajamas, neither of them looked each other in the eye; Jimmy couldn’t find a safe place to stare at because he was afraid to even glance at Zeke in his underwear after what had happened.

He was still awake around 1 AM, aimlessly scrolling through his phone. Tammy and Jocelyn were texting him, and he was ignoring them. His stomach was unsettled, and it was keeping him awake.

“Hey, Jay-Ju?” Zeke whispered. “You got any extra blankets or something? I’m kinda cold down here.”

Jimmy rolled over and looked down at his friend. “No, I have no idea where my mom keeps anything. Sorry.”

Zeke sighed. “Damn.”

But Zeke didn’t reach for his phone or anything, he just kept staring at the ceiling, so Jimmy finally whispered back, “Do you…want to come up in here? It’s pretty warm with the quilt.”

Zeke didn’t reply and stood up, so Jimmy scooted towards the other side of his bed til he was pressed up against the wall. Zeke carefully got into bed beside him, almost like he was afraid of messing up the already messy bedspread.

His breath caught in his throat when Zeke didn’t stop scooting towards him. Usually they slept facing away from each other, but instead, Zeke’s back was flush against Jimmy’s chest.

By way of explanation, Zeke whispered, “You’re warm. Feel how cold my feet are.”

The sudden cold sensation against his leg wasn’t the reason Jimmy recoiled. What was Zeke doing? What was _he_ supposed to do? Sure, Zeke held him when they wrestled, but this was entirely different. And he could tell from the way Zeke’s hands were curled tightly at his sides that maybe, now, he needed to respond differently.

So he wrapped his arms around Zeke and pulled him closer. In the pale light seeping through the flimsy curtains, he saw the shadows of some bruises across Zeke’s arms and down his back. He always assumed—or maybe hoped—they were from wrestling. But feeling how small Zeke’s body was against his, it occurred to him he maybe should have asked about it twenty or thirty sleepovers ago. Zeke _did_ come over a lot. Like, a lot.

“Hey, Zeke?” he whispered. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

He felt Zeke’s hand cover his own where his arm rested across Zeke’s body. His face grew warmer, and he closed his eyes and thought maybe, if he pretended, Zeke could be Tina—or Zeke should have been Tina. Just like at the dance. It was _supposed_ to be Tina he shared moments like this with, not Zeke. But he didn’t want to move away. If he did, he’d feel like he’d abandoned Zeke.

“I know, buddy,” Zeke said softly. “Thanks.”

And then Zeke pulled Jimmy’s hand closer so his arm was tighter against him. Jimmy was no stranger to discomfort when it came to being with Zeke, but he knew he couldn’t stay angled away from his friend and fall asleep comfortably.

Whatever, it was late at night and he was tired. So he gave in and nestled in closer to Zeke, so close that his head was almost buried in the space between Zeke’s shoulder and neck. He was surprised that Zeke smelled good—well, okay, not _great_ , but he didn’t smell 100% like sweat and BO, maybe only 30%. Zeke’s hair was soft against his forehead, and he wondered, for a moment, why every day couldn’t be like this with Zeke. Why they wrestled instead of doing…whatever this was. And the same feeling from the dance came over him; he couldn’t move away, and more importantly, he didn’t want to move away.

And without meaning to, he pressed his lips against Zeke’s neck, because maybe it would make him feel better, and less…however he felt that caused him to take refuge with Jimmy. A spell of silence fell over them again, and Jimmy couldn’t tell if he wanted Zeke to acknowledge or ignore what just happened between them.

If it bothered him, he didn’t show it. He whispered, “Night, Jay-Ju,” and that was that.

They woke up still tangled together and jumped several feet apart when Jimmy’s mom knocked on the door. They didn’t need to say anything to each other to make it clear—what happened was not something they were supposed to be doing.

And yet it was the second time they did something like that. And Jimmy didn’t want to stop.

* * *

The third time it happened, it felt inevitable. Like the time he finally slipped on his own socks when dancing in his room. The crash was bound to happen, as predictable as Zeke pinning him in every official-unofficial wrestling match they had.

They were having another hypothetical “how-can-you-get-Tina-for-good” conversation in his basement, which they both knew was stupid because whether or not Jimmy wanted to be with Tina, she’d always be waiting for him.

And it had actually started to make him feel bad, because he knew he was realizing, slowly, that the feelings he had for Zeke were not at all what they were supposed to be, and it was wrong to keep pretending he felt the same way about Tina. He was Jimmy Jr. He was popular, and people (especially girls) liked him, and everyone wanted to be with him or around him. And yeah, maybe there were times when he was genuinely into Tina and thought about being with her for longer than a few weeks. But he couldn’t ignore the doubt that had been eating him up for so long, because he stopped being able to even imagine being with Tina without images of Zeke invading his mind instead.

And the one person he wanted to talk to about it was the one person he couldn’t talk to about it because he was, in a way, the cause of all his doubts. Sure, Zeke was friends with Gene, and Gene was flamboyant, and a lot of things that Jimmy was not, but they’d never ever had a conversation that even broached any of their friends being not straight. Sometimes when they were tired Jimmy joked about how he was pretty sure his dad and Trev were a thing, and Zeke laughed, but it was mostly because it was weird to imagine a parent in any kind of romantic situation. The laughter was never malicious; but then again, Zeke didn’t exactly wrestle with Jimmy Sr. and sleep in the same bed with him every day like he did with Jimmy.

And his dad and Trev were a whole other thing that complicated the situation. He wasn’t stupid, and his dad wasn’t exactly a genius at hiding when Trev (or anyone else, for that matter) stayed over. Whenever Jimmy tried to bring it up, his dad brushed him off by bringing up Zeke like it was the same thing, when they both knew it wasn’t. Except now it kinda was. And judging by how his dad hated Jimmy doing anything remotely “effeminate” like dancing, he knew the joy at hearing Jimmy was no longer interested in Tina would quickly fade into disgust.

Maybe that _was_ what was happening. He knew he’d sort of always felt this way about guys, but only now was it becoming clear that this maybe wasn’t a thing he could ignore, or pretend he liked girls more, or was just curiosity and nothing else.

This was all running through his mind while Zeke was listing off some new and bizarre scheme to make Tina like him (even though they both knew she already did). He was draped over the arm of the couch and letting the blood run to his face.

“What’s the matter, Jay-Ju?” Zeke said as he plopped down on the opposite side of the couch. “D’you think my ideas are bad or somethin’?”

“No, I just…maybe…don’t like Tina anymore.” His words rushed together into one long, lisped word that was difficult to decipher. But he knew Zeke would know exactly what he was saying.

“Well, good. Now I can go for her,” Zeke joked. But Jimmy couldn’t bring himself to laugh. And the quiet was clearly bothering Zeke.

“What’s eatin’ ya, buddy?” Zeke moved closer to Jimmy. “Tina ain’t _that_ great.”

He didn’t know what to say, and he covered up his miserable blush with his hands. “It’s not Tina.” He took in a long breath. “I think it’s me.”

“Wha? Jay-Ju, any girl would be lucky to have you!” Zeke suddenly stood up and paced around the basement. “Did she say somethin’ to you? Did her sister say somethin’ to you? You know I’ll kick the ass of whoever did!”

Jimmy pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until colored shapes drifted across his vision. “I don’t wanna talk about it, Zeke,” he replied, making no attempt to hide the notes of pleading in his voice.

Zeke was back at the couch again, his shadow enveloping Jimmy’s torso. “Then I guess I’ll have to wrassle ya til ya feel better!”

And he jumped on Jimmy and started to tickle him, and Jimmy tried to wriggle out of his grasp. But Zeke had him stuck in place, and even though he didn’t want to laugh, he did, because Zeke knew exactly where to tickle him to make him squirm.

Through his laughter, he cried, “Zeke, stop, come on!”

To his surprise, Zeke did stop. He looked so wild-eyed as he hovered over Jimmy, slightly panting from the effort of tickling Jimmy’s writhing body. It was the same face Jimmy saw practically every day, the face that made him excited to go to school, the face that usually got him in trouble.

He couldn’t help it. He had to know. He’d had so many chances before, but this one seemed like the last one he had. They were both out of breath and so close anyway, so if he seemed stunned from what happened he could play it off as being winded.

It was just like with Tina, he told himself. But he wasn’t exactly the best at kissing her, either. One of his hands rested against Zeke’s lower back, like how they’d been in bed the past couple times he’d slept over, and the other reached up to cup Zeke’s face, the same way he had that night at the dance. And despite his best efforts to be gentle, he mashed his face against Zeke’s, and their noses pressed awkwardly against each other and flattened against their cheeks.

God, what a stupid idea. Real smooth. At least with Tina he’d never pulled something that uncoordinated. He could feel his face heat up until he realized Zeke hadn’t moved away. Instead, he’d readjusted so their lips were gently touching, and his hand was tangled up in Jimmy’s hair at the nape of his neck.

And when Zeke pulled away to draw in a breath, he thought it was all over, but then he swooped in for more, awkwardly leaning on his one arm to avoid completely crushing Jimmy under his body weight (the one time, Jimmy noted, that Zeke didn’t want to). It was so different—no, so much _better_ than kissing Tina had ever been. He stopped worrying about the amount of time he was supposed to kiss so that she would be satisfied enough to leave him alone, where his arms were supposed to go, if he was supposed to try something with his tongue. Instead, he appreciated how soft Zeke’s face was against his hand, how he was just barely too tall for Zeke to reach his lips without stretching. This was the best thing in the world—almost as good as dancing. And _nothing_ beat that.

Zeke pulled away and sat back on his heels. “Oh,” was all he managed to say.

Jimmy kicked his heels into the couch cushions to push himself up til he was sitting back up. “Zeke, I—” Well, what _could_ he say? “Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Zeke shook his head like he was trying to get water out of his ears. “No, no it’s fine. It’s okay.”

“Okay,” Jimmy said, his voice hitching as he realized that he probably ruined everything. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“No, don’t worry. I won’t.”

Zeke was so quiet, and Jimmy drew his knees up to his chest. This was a horrible, horrible mistake. A horrible mistake that he enjoyed and basically confirmed everything he’d been wondering for the past few months (really, years). And as he looked at the hunched, confused form of his best friend, he realized it was a selfish mistake, too.

Tears sprung to his eyes, so he turned away from Zeke. “I didn’t mean to ruin our friendship,” he whispered. “If I’m really…like this, I hope you’ll still be my friend. I won’t do it again. Ever.”

He felt Zeke’s eyes staring at his face and stole a glance at him. For the first time in their friendship, he had no idea what Zeke was thinking.

To make matters more confusing, Zeke was slowly inching towards Jimmy, then in a sudden burst he wrapped his arms around Jimmy in a fierce hug. It was the same way he’d started to hold Zeke when he slept over.

He really didn’t mean to cry, but he did. And Zeke just tightened his arms around him, and his head was tucked back against the soft space of Zeke’s shoulder again, breathing in his familiar sort of gross but mostly good scent.

“I couldn’t stop myself from wondering—” he started to say, but then Zeke cut him off with a kiss. His eyes flew open with surprise, and so did Zeke’s. For a moment they stared at each other in shock, their lips pressed together. Zeke recoiled with his hand over his mouth; whether in disgust or fear or happiness, Jimmy had no clue.

“I should go,” Zeke rasped out. He grabbed for his backpack, discarded against the wall when he and Jimmy had tumbled down the stairs not even 45 minutes earlier. He rubbed his hands against his eyes as he started to leave.

“Zeke, wait!” Jimmy called, but Zeke was already halfway up the stairs by then. He paused when he heard Jimmy’s voice, his foot hesitating on the last step.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow,” Zeke replied, but his voice was so distant that Jimmy knew nothing he could say would make him come back.

* * *

The fourth time it happened, he wasn’t the one who started it.

After they’d kissed in his basement, Zeke hadn’t brought it up, so Jimmy followed his lead and kept quiet, too. Nothing had changed, really; Zeke still wrestled him and stayed overnight. But his silence was driving Jimmy crazy, and he wondered if maybe he’d imagined it all up.

Then the confusion turned to guilt, and Jimmy felt like whatever happened with him and Zeke was over, and he should probably try to get back with Tina. The only problem was that he couldn’t force himself to have the same feelings for her, which made him think they maybe were never real in the first place.

Besides, even if he could be with Zeke, even if he knew in his heart that being with Zeke felt better than anything else, he didn’t think he could live that way—with all the staring and his dad’s disappointment and feeling like he would never be the same Jimmy Jr. as before. It was probably better to try to pretend none of it ever happened.

So he had asked Tina to hang out, but an hour before their date, he stared out the window at Bob’s Burgers and knew he couldn’t do it. It was weird how losing all his attraction to Tina made him see her as a person with feelings.

He decided to call her, but not before he texted Zeke.

_Jimmy: come over pls, at dad’s  
Zeke: thot u were w tina  
Jimmy: im canceling  
Zeke: wont she see me  
Jimmy: go 2 back door  
Jimmy: a+o r at wharf n dad is working  
Jimmy: well be alone  
Jimmy: please?  
Zeke: fine_

Jimmy turned away from the window when he called Tina; he could see she was in the restaurant, and he didn’t want to watch her be let down when he cancelled.

After a few rings, someone picked up. “Bob’s Burgers, we’re open!” Mrs. Belcher chirped.

“Uh, hi, can I talk to Tina?”

Within seconds she was on the phone.

“Hi Jimmy Jr.! Are you coming by soon?” Tina’s voice was so excited and hopeful that it only made him feel worse.

“About that, Tina…I’m really not feeling well.” He hated himself a little as he faked a cough. “Whatever I ate at lunch is, um, making me wanna puke.”

After a few moments, Tina finally replied, “Oh.” Her voice was so small and defeated. “So, I guess I’ll see you at school, then.”

She wasn’t asking him if they could go another day, which was probably bad. Why did he even ask her to go out in the first place?

“I’m really sorry,” he replied. He hoped she could sense the sincerity in his voice. “I’ll see you around.”

“Feel better,” Tina said with a sigh, then hung up.

He checked his phone; no new texts from Zeke. This situation was so messed up. _Feelings_ were so messed up, and also dumb.

Jimmy launched himself down the stairs into the basement and started to pace around. He had to tell Zeke how he felt; he already lied and hid his feelings from Tina, and doing the same to Zeke would only make him feel worse. He didn’t care if Zeke would hate him or yell at him for trying to prove his sexuality by kissing him.

Zeke came walking down the stairs, and Jimmy hadn’t even heard him letting himself in.

“Woah, Jay-Ju,” Zeke said. “You alright?”

Jimmy shook his head and motioned for Zeke to sit down. “I shouldn’t have asked Tina out again. That was a stupid mistake.”

Zeke flopped onto the couch and watched Jimmy. “Why? Cuz you’re down here with me ‘stead of out there with her? Jus’ reschedule, she won’t care.”

“I don’t think I like her. Or maybe I never really liked her at all. I just liked her cuz I was supposed to.” Jimmy let out a huge sigh.

“You tryin’ to spare her feelings?” Zeke asked, no longer looking at Jimmy. He was staring at the floor and biting his nails. “Cuz you don’t want her to think things are different than the way they are? Or that you’re different from who ya are?”

Jimmy knew then Zeke wasn’t talking about Tina, and he stopped pacing to face his best friend. “Zeke,” he said in a low voice, “I don’t think I want to date girls. I can’t keep pretending with Tina.”

When Zeke didn’t say anything, Jimmy sat next to him on the couch. He watched as Zeke started to bite the nails on his other hand, his nail beds bloodied. He didn’t even look over when Jimmy sat down. He was staring at the rug the same way he watched those dumb movies subs played when one of their teachers was out—totally disinterested and very bored.

“Please say something.” He couldn’t stand the silence. “Even if you’re mad at me.”

It was Zeke’s turn to sigh. “Whaddaya want me to say, Jimmy?” he said softly, and Jimmy’s heart sank. Zeke _never_ called him Jimmy; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d even said it.

“I think we should talk about it,” Jimmy admitted. “I don’t like not talking about stuff with you, Zeke.”

Zeke tucked his legs underneath him but still wouldn’t look at Jimmy. “It happened and it’s over now.”

“ _You_ kissed _me_ back!” Jimmy yelled, then tried to keep his voice down in case anyone had come home suddenly. “I wasn’t just doing that stuff to mess around! What I was feeling was real!”

“Well damn, what else was I supposed to do? You had your arms ‘round me and everything! With your stupid soft hand against my face!” Zeke put his head down into his hands. “Jay-Ju, I just can’t talk about this, I can’t—”

“You feel like I trapped you?” he couldn’t keep the panic out of his voice. “Wait, I’m sorry, I—”

“I liked it, okay?! Damn it! I liked it, too!”

Now it was Jimmy’s turn to shake his head in total disbelief. “Wait, you…you liked it?”

Zeke nodded, and Jimmy realized he was covering his face because he was crying. He inched slowly towards Zeke, not sure how close he could get.

“Maybe I’ve been feeling the same stuff too, okay? But I didn’t know what to do about it, but then _you_ started to be all forward, and I don’t know why I feel this way or what I’m supposed to do!” Zeke’s shoulders started to shake.

He wrapped Zeke into a hug but didn’t push it. “It’s okay. It’s confusing. I don’t even think I get what it means. I mean I guess I do, because I don’t want to be with Tina. Or probably any girl. I’d just be pretending.”

“You mean it?” Zeke mumbled.

Jimmy shrugged and blushed. “I’d just wanna be with you the whole time.”

Finally, Zeke turned to face him, his eyes watery. Jimmy resisted the urge to push some of his curls out of his face. Zeke’s hands slowly rose up from his lap to cup Jimmy’s face, pulling him closer until they were kissing, again.

And holy crap, Jimmy forgot how much he _liked_ kissing. How it could be good and enjoyable and really, this beat out dancing, because the thrill that was overtaking every single part of him was too crazy to put into words.

When Zeke pulled away, he rested his forehead against Jimmy’s, trying to catch his breath.

“Did you mean that?” Jimmy asked quietly.

Zeke nodded. “I think so, Jay-Ju.” He pushed his nose gently against Jimmy’s. “I don’t think I wanna stop doing this.”

Jimmy laughed a little, and it made Zeke laugh too, but he looked confused about what was funny. Jimmy kept laughing until Zeke finally said, “What?”

“I was so worried you were gonna hate me,” Jimmy replied, “or that you were gonna tell me I needed to stop liking you. I’m glad I was wrong.”

Zeke cracked a smile and shoved Jimmy’s shoulder. “Yeah, me too. Look at you, gettin’ me all in my feelings.”

But he could sense the fear in Zeke’s voice, even if he sounded like the same confident boy he always did. He reached out for Zeke’s hand. “We don’t have to tell anyone. I mean, if you don’t want to.”

Zeke nodded slowly. “Yeah…yeah. Let’s keep this ‘tween you and me.” He blushed again, which made Jimmy’s heart beat even faster. “I don’t really know how this is ‘sposed to work, with two guys. Is it the same as with a girl?”

In response, Jimmy wrapped Zeke up in his arms and held him close, the same way they’d seen countless other couples do it. “Is this fine?”

Zeke nodded.

“Then okay, it’s the same.” He rested his head against Zeke’s and smiled. “But we can still wrestle.”

“I guess you can also wrestle girls, but you’re not really ‘sposed to,” Zeke said by way of reply. “So this is much better.”

* * *

The fifth time it happened it was all poetic, like the end of Footloose. It was full circle, and almost perfect.

Jimmy and Zeke stayed together when they were out of school, and then sometimes even when they were in school (both of them having their own hiding spaces was a definite bonus). When the spring seventh and eighth grade dance loomed on the horizon, they’d had a conversation about whether or not they actually wanted to go.

This was, in part, because of the time Louise almost beat Jimmy up at school. He’d stopped to tie his shoe, and then there she was, glaring down at him. Even though she was half his size, and he almost definitely could take her in a fight if he absolutely had to, she was still terrifying.

“So, Junior,” she said, tapping his shoe with her own. “You ditched my sister and now the dance is coming up. She’s being all mopey, and you better stop being a jerk and ask her soon, or else.”

She stomped her foot down on Jimmy’s toes, and he almost fell over from his kneeling position.

“Ow, Louise, that hurt!”

“There’s more where that came from!” She added in another stomp for good measure. “When are you gonna ask her?”

“Um…never?” Jimmy stood quickly to brace himself against another stomp. “I’m going alone this year.”

“You,” Louise repeated back, with a laugh, “are going alone? Uh-huh. Right.”

“Please don’t beat me up,” he pleaded. “I’m telling the truth.”

She glared at him and started to back away. “If I find out you’re lying, say goodbye to your feet, Twinkle-Toes!”

He couldn’t say to her he was going to go with Zeke, and he wasn’t even sure if Zeke wanted to go with him. But when he’d asked him about it, Zeke was surprisingly into it. They’d picked out matching flower things for themselves, too, which was weird, but they laughed about it the whole time they were at the flower shop.

But it didn’t stop him from feeling nervous when he was finally in front of the gym doors, his hand loosely in Zeke’s. They decided to arrive late on purpose to avoid the awkward questions that would happen when all the parents were tripping over themselves to take pictures.

He took in a shaky breath. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he told Zeke. “We can dance literally anywhere. I don’t care.”

Zeke scratched his neck. “Naw, we went to so much trouble for these button-eers. ‘Sides, I know how much you wanna show off that dance you’ve been practicing.”

“Only if you’re sure,” he replied, to which Zeke squeezed his hand.

“Now or never, Jay-Ju.” Zeke pulled the door open. “You first.”

Jimmy snorted in response. “Why’re you being so fancy now?”

The dance was in full swing, so not many people noticed when they walked in holding hands. Jimmy was relieved, until he saw that Tammy was pointing at them and whispering to Jocelyn.

“Hey, you got this,” Zeke whispered and nudged his shoulder into Jimmy’s. “Tam-Tam’s pretty stupid anyway.”

“Can we just dance?” Jimmy pleaded, noticing that Tammy was approaching them. “If we move really fast then she can’t talk to us.”

“How am I handlin’ this better than you?” Zeke shook his head. “You know she’ll keep hangin’ around til we answer her anyway.”

Tammy’s eyeshadow was even brighter than usual, and it was stretching up past her eyelids. It looked pretty weird. Jocelyn was looking at them, but it was hard to tell what, if anything, she was thinking.

“Sooooo,” Tammy said once she was in front of them. “This is new, right?”

Jimmy and Zeke looked at each other and shrugged. “Uh…kinda?” Jimmy cleared his throat.

“Okay.” Tammy was stretching all her words out, really milking how suspicious her face looked. “And you’re not just doing this to be mean to Tina?”

Of all the things Jimmy expected to hear, that was not one of them. “Um, this would be a pretty dumb way to be mean to her…and why would I want to be mean to her?”

“Ummm, cuz you’re always kinda mean to her?” Tammy looked to Jocelyn for support. “I mean, if I were you that’s what I would do.”

“Yeah, you are!” Jocelyn said, but her voice was so cheerful it was obvious she wasn’t listening.

“If you were me you’d…pretend to be…” Zeke cleared his throat, so Jimmy knew he needed to be delicate with how he put things. “You know…not straight? To be mean to Tina? Why? That’s like…really elaborate.”

Tammy rolled her eyes and blew some hair away from her face. “Whatever, never mind.”

“Wait,” Jocelyn said, “so which one of you is the girl?”

“Oh my god, Jocelyn,” Tammy replied, “that’s not how it works.”

“…Ohhhh.” Jocelyn clearly didn’t understand, so she leaned over to whisper loudly to Tammy. “So which one is the boy, then?”

Tammy’s expression was so full of disdain and exasperation that Jimmy couldn’t help but laugh.

“Good god, Jocelyn, we’re _both_ the boy! That’s kinda the point!” Zeke cried.

Jocelyn blinked a few times before nodding. She turned again towards Tammy and whisper-shouted, “They’re _both_ the boy? Wait…why?”

“I’ll explain it later,” Tammy managed through gritted teeth.

“Um, okay, so…this is getting weird,” Jimmy observed.

“Ya wanna dance?” Zeke squeezed his hand a little, and Jimmy squeezed back as Zeke pulled him towards the dance floor.

And really, nothing was different, except that Jimmy couldn’t stop smiling. He kept sneaking little glances at Zeke, who was grinning from ear to ear. Sometimes they danced close together, and sometimes he stood back so Jimmy could try to do some crazy dance routine he’d been making up in his basement for weeks. But he never left his side, and it was so different from all those times he’d tried to play wing-man while Jimmy danced with a bunch of girls.

After about ten songs, Zeke pulled him close and yelled, “Ya wanna get somethin’ to drink? I’m sweatin’ harder than a pig at the slaughterhouse!”

He nodded, and Zeke took his hand til they were standing off to the side. “I’ll go get some soda,” he told Jimmy. “Diet Coke or Pepsi?”

Jimmy laughed. “I don’t know why you’re even asking. You know what I like.”

Zeke blushed. “Just bein’ polite.”

While he watched Zeke walk away, he noticed Tina sitting a table, slumped over and looking sad. He would bet anything she had spent a lot of the night doing her weird groaning thing.

“Yuck, can you go talk to her please?” Tammy said as she came up behind him. She took a sip from her cup. “Depression is in session and it’s, like, totally ruining the atmosphere.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t do it here.” Jimmy stuffed his hands into his pockets. “She’s probably really embarrassed.”

“Ugh, don’t be such a diva cup and go make up or whatever.” Tammy rolled her eyes and looked down at her phone.

Well, Jimmy wanted to get away from her anyway, so he started off towards Tina.

“Jimmy?” Tammy called. “You look really happy tonight. So…good for you.”

He turned back to shoot her a smile.

When he was a few steps away from Tina, he waved to Zeke and pointed at her so he’d know he wasn’t ditching him.

“Um, mind if I sit here?” he asked.

“Hi Jimmy Junior.” She was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her.

“I, uh, think I owe you an apology.” He turned to look at her, but she wouldn’t look back at him. “This wasn’t happening when we were together. I promise. I just sort of…I realized I was lying to myself, and to you.”

Tina started to sniffle, but Jimmy knew better than to try and pat her back or something to make her feel better. “I treated you like, really badly. I always expected you to be around whenever I wanted…even if I didn’t really _want_ you.”

“Gene tried to warn me,” Tina mumbled, “but I didn’t want to believe him.”

Of course Gene figured it out. “This didn’t happen because of you, you know. In case that’s what you thought.”

“No, I wasn’t thinking that.” She sighed. “But thank you for suggesting it.”

“Listen, Tina…” he paused a second to think how he wanted to say what he was feeling. “You deserve someone way better than me. Someone who can feel as intense as you do back. I don’t think I can be that person for you. And I’m sorry that you’re only finding about it just now.”

Tina nodded. “I don’t hate you, you know.” She took in a deep breath. “I’m just mad at you and myself, but I also don’t know what to do because you were, um, kind of a big part of my daily life. This just feels…so weird. I know I’m a strong and independent woman, and I don’t like how lost I feel now that I know I can’t ever have you the way I’ve always wanted to.”

“Hey.” He smiled at her and put his hand on hers. “It’s really confusing. And not easy. But you’re like, really smart, Tina. And really pretty. I promise there’s someone for you.”

She gave him a watery smile. “That’s one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me.”

She pulled off her glasses and wiped her eyes. “Can I hug you one last time?” She blushed. “And say goodbye to your butt?”

Jimmy laughed and nodded. Tina hugged him and gently patted his butt. “Goodbye, Jimmy’s butt. I’ll always remember you.”

She caught his eye as she pulled back, and she laughed.

“You know, I think my dad likes guys, too,” Tina blurted out, then looked mortified. “Oh my god. Don’t tell your dad I said that.”

“I think my dad also likes guys, too. But don’t tell your dad I said that.”

Tina laughed. “I think he already knows that.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Zeke hovering nearby with the two cups of soda. “Please get up and dance tonight. Don’t be sad cuz of me.”

Tina nodded. “I know. I think I just need a second.”

“I get it.” Jimmy started to walk away, then turned around at the last second. “Hey, Tina, you should hang out with Josh again. He seemed really nice. And he was cute.”

“I won’t tell Zeke you said that,” Tina replied. She was still wiping her eyes, but she was smiling.

“And I won’t tell him I let you touch my butt again.”

Tina stuck her hand out. “Shake on it?”

He accepted the gesture and gave her a last smile. “Bye, Tina.”

“Bye, Jimmy.” He started to walk away again, but then she called out, “Some time you have to tell me how you and Zeke happened. You know I’m a sucker for romance.”

“Umm, it wasn’t _really_ romantic, more like—”

“Oh, trust me, it was _definitely_ romantic.” Just then, a slow song came on. “Go back to your date. I think he’s waiting for you.”

He nodded gratefully, and when he got to Zeke, he put his arm around him and downed his soda.

“You fix everything with Tina?” Zeke asked. “Looks like she’s stopped cryin’.”

“I think so. But I don’t wanna think about that now.” He dropped his arm to take Zeke’s hand. “Right now, I wanna dance.”

Zeke rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide his grin. They walked a suitable distance into the dance floor, enough to blend in with the other kids slow-dancing and far enough out of view from nosy chaperones like Mr. Frond.

Jimmy wrapped his arms around Zeke’s waist, and Zeke held Jimmy’s neck, resting his head against Jimmy’s chest. They weren’t dancing as far apart as some of the other awkward kids, but they were close enough that it still felt special and different from anything they’d done before.

“Hey, you,” he said into Zeke’s hair.

“Hey yourself,” Zeke said back. “Sorry it took so long to get to the slow song. And sorry that there won’t be nine other slow songs after this one.”

Jimmy couldn’t believe Zeke remembered his grand plan for how dances should go. “You can’t get everything you want, I guess.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Zeke’s head. “But this is pretty good so far.”

Zeke stopped swaying back and forth and stood on his tiptoes so they could be eye to eye. Just like Jimmy had done when they were outside the gym so many months before, Zeke brushed Jimmy’s hair back and stroked his cheek. Except this time, they both leaned in for a kiss and didn’t back away. And even though they had already kissed so many times before, it still felt like the first time, just without the fear of everything that would come after.

Because if everything that came after was like this, then he couldn’t wait.


End file.
